Anxiety and Attachment, a teacher's tale

So.

I am going to take the ADCRG in a year. Eleven months, actually. I am riddled with anxiety over this fact. When I took my TCRG, I was so relieved that I passed that I pretty much swore off ever becoming a judge. Teaching was good enough, thank you. But, now that I have been a TC for ten years, I feel like I cannot reasonably just stay in one place. I feel like I am reading water. Taking the AD exam is the next natural step in my career. Besides. Who will take me seriously in another ten years if I am still a TC?

The dancing part scares/annoys me the most. I can friggin' dance. I took that test ten years ago and passed it just fine. Besides. NINE set dances? SEVEN traditional sets? Seriously? You know what this means, right? I have to practice.I have to wear hard shoes. All of the tortures I have inflicted upon my young and beautiful dancing students for the past ten years are about to come back and haunt me.

This kind of brings me to the other part of my story for today. I get really attached to students. I love them. I look forward to seeing them every day, every week. I get really sad when they leave, for whatever reason. Leaving is part of the natural progression of being a dancer. They all grow up and leave. And some of them leave long before they grow up. Some of them leave behind hurt feelings when they go. That, obviously, is the worst. I have mentioned this particular fault of mine to a few of my colleagues and they all say the same thing. Its a problem.

For example, I have a new student. A wonderful child who is so full of talent. I am so excited to see where she goes with her dancing. And already, I am worried about when she will leave. Sigh. I just don't see how you can be a teacher without being a little attached. Dancers are wonderful creatures. They are smart, funny, cute, and wonderful. Even if their talent isn't for dance, they all have talents and I am ever so thankful for the impressions each one makes on my life. I have a couple students who have been with me ever since I got my TCRG. They will be leaving for college in the next year or two. I am already planning (in my head, preparing myself sorta) for their last Nutcracker, last recital, last Oireachtas, last feis, last class. I hope they get to see me pass that AD exam before they leave.